This is my profane humor blog exploring the unique frustrations and embarrassments of pregnancy, parenting, and marriage. I'm pretty sure I was crazy before I got pregnant, now it's full-blown hormonal madness. This is Pregnancy Part 2: Revenge of the Unborn. I also have a 6yo daughter, two cats and a dog.
Life is never dull.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Random Moments near the End of Pregnancy

Me: "Ow." *grabs belly*
Friend: "What's wrong?"
Me: "I'm having butt pain."
Friend: "In your belly?"
Me: "Yes, I'm having pain where HIS butt is pushing way too hard against my belly."

Me: "Ow. This is definitely YOUR son."
Hubby: "Why?"
Me: "He doesn't like my belt. So he has decided to punch repeatedly at the belt through my belly to make it go away."
Hubby: *snort* "That's rude."
Me: "That's YOUR boy!"

Me: "Really baby? You can't just let me eat in peace?"
Hubby: "What's he doing?"
Me: "He has hiccups. I'm trying to eat pizza. It's VERY distracting to try and eat a slice of pizza when someone JUST BELOW your stomach keeps having VIOLENT hiccups."
Hubby: *blinks* "I can only imagine."

So we have established that baby is 1) very likely a boy, 2) going to have a much larger birth-weight than his sister :( 3) already has a clear personality, and 4) is most likely a stubborn son-of-a-lovely woman. 
I've four weeks left. MAX. I refuse to go over! Then we will have to convert the blog to something joyous about babies... told through a lens of humor and sarcasm.
Wish me luck.