This is my profane humor blog exploring the unique frustrations and embarrassments of pregnancy, parenting, and marriage. I'm pretty sure I was crazy before I got pregnant, now it's full-blown hormonal madness. This is Pregnancy Part 2: Revenge of the Unborn. I also have a 6yo daughter, two cats and a dog.
Life is never dull.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Conversations with Pets

This isn't a long post, but I felt bad about not writing for a while... And then I got maimed this morning in a TOTALLY FUNNY WAY... So thus, blog.

CAT: My toe is hurt. LOOK AT ME!
ME: Kinda busy.
CAT: WHY DON'T YOU CARE? I'm going to lick my toe to show you just how hurt it is.
ME: FFS. You're TOE got wrenched after you dug ALL YOUR CLAWS into MY LEG and launched off my lap, then one claw got snagged in my pants.
CAT: You wear pants just to TORTURE ME.
ME: I'M THE ONE BLEEDING! That's why I'm over here with the disinfectant!
CAT: You don't CARE. You are a horrible human being.

DOG: Hey guys?
DOG: Sorry to interrupt. Just wanted to let you know I just puked.
DOG: Don't worry though. You don't have to clean it up.
ME: ......
DOG:  I got hungry after so I cleaned it up.
ME: I should have just got goldfish.

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